He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize