Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So vagazzling was a success
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
