im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
