Umm I'm too high to move.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
A+ Viking dick
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
