yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
