No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
