Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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