Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
