Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it's like iHOP with fire
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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