Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
