i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
