I'm drive I can fine osifer
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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