So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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