I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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