So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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