dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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