I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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