my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
