Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
