I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you win again, gameday.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
