Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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