She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's blow job season.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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