I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I want to walk on stilts...naked
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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