Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
