but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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