I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I am available for nakedness
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
