I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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