I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
