So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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