I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
