I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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