I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
