This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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