im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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