I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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