I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
