Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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