it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize