and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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