Texts From Last Night · CM_Rx's Favorites

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CM_Rx's Favorites Texts:

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(416): View more from Toronto

No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.

Fav 14 4954 3056
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.

Fav 31 5916 1256
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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

Fav 20 8897 1671
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(816): View more from Missouri

Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

Fav 54 11252 2128
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode

Fav 29 7521 1270
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(440): View more from Ohio

You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music

Fav 49 18834 1915
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(540): View more from Virginia

just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping

Fav 18 5204 1248
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(574): View more from Indiana

Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.

Fav 23 10267 2751
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