Texts From Last Night · Epimetheus's Favorites

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Epimetheus's Favorites Texts:

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(908): View more from New Jersey

His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.

(732): View more from New Jersey

sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner

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(541): View more from Oregon

I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.

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(703): View more from Virginia

How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist

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(281): View more from Texas

ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)

(214): View more from Texas

Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.

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