Texts From Last Night · Microbus's Favorites

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Microbus's Favorites Texts:

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(609): View more from New Jersey

is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.

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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt

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(510): View more from California

Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.

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(305): View more from Florida

The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.

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(314): View more from Missouri

So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though

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(281): View more from Texas

had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

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(512): View more from Texas

i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

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