Texts From Last Night · Riley971's Favorites

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Riley971's Favorites Texts:

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though

Fav 2 1448 686
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(440): View more from Ohio

It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina

Fav 7 872 1575
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(704): View more from North Carolina

It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.

Fav 8 4296 1334
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(515): View more from Iowa

Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.

Fav 18 6975 1259
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(916): View more from California

Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.

Fav 8 1642 890
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym

Fav 2 1264 708
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(206): View more from Washington

I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole

(425): View more from Washington

There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian

Fav 99 3053 24677
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(831): View more from California

She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"

Fav 26 5332 1042
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