Texts From Last Night · TheAmy_'s Favorites

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TheAmy_'s Favorites Texts:

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.

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(779): View more from Illinois

I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs

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(805): View more from California

It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..

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(205): View more from Alabama

You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?

(1-616): View more from Michigan

I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.

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