Texts From Last Night · alixandra's Favorites

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alixandra's Favorites Texts:

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(941): View more from Florida

CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."

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(443): View more from Maryland

Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon

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(630): View more from Illinois

The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

come over i need a lifeguard for my shower

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(815): View more from Illinois

If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.

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