Texts From Last Night · coastlines's Favorites

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coastlines's Favorites Texts:

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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man

Fav 10 2985 998
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day

Fav 3 5247 1316
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(937): View more from Ohio

Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.

Fav 11 2734 1930
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.

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(360): View more from Washington

You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double

Fav 18 5162 1417
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(212): View more from New York

1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

Fav 4 2726 1286
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