Texts From Last Night · dackjaniels's Favorites

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dackjaniels's Favorites Texts:

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(904): View more from Florida

I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.

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(424): View more from California

at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.

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(602): View more from Arizona

A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway

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