Texts From Last Night · dudeimzack's Favorites

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dudeimzack's Favorites Texts:

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(281): View more from Texas

WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!

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(727): View more from Florida

and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos

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(304): View more from West Virginia

1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?

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(806): View more from Texas

You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....

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(516): View more from New York

Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment

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(256): View more from Alabama

Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment

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(732): View more from New Jersey

hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".

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(619): View more from California

She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...

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