Texts From Last Night · irock92596's Favorites

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irock92596's Favorites Texts:

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(301): View more from Maryland

Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"

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(818): View more from California

I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

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(619): View more from California

you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog

(716): View more from New York

do you not see the irony in that??

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.

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