Texts From Last Night · llamachicaou's Favorites

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llamachicaou's Favorites Texts:

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(734): View more from Michigan

I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid

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(503): View more from Oregon

She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?

(224): View more from Illinois

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

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(631): View more from New York

Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?

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(512): View more from Texas

I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.

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(716): View more from New York

I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.

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(815): View more from Illinois

the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.

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