Texts From Last Night · phuk0ff's Favorites

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phuk0ff's Favorites Texts:

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face

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(440): View more from Ohio

Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?

(1-440): View more from Ohio

because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off

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(904): View more from Florida

Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.

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(315): View more from New York

My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'

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(731): View more from Tennessee

who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.

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