Last Night in California (213)

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• (213): View more from California

  your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.

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• (213): View more from California

  "thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.

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• (213): View more from California

  You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.

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• (213): View more from California

  You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40

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• (213): View more from California

  just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop

  (213): View more from California

  so that means christmas in space?

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi

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• (213): View more from California

  Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.

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• (213): View more from California

  dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.

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• (213): View more from California

  Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.

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• (213): View more from California

  Her brother is deaf.

  (214): View more from Texas

  no wonder she was so good with her hands

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• (213): View more from California

  i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.

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• (213): View more from California

  I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.

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• (213): View more from California

  How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.

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• (213): View more from California

  the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.

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