Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
